Source: # Parvathi, the Healer and the Doctor *Parvathi Hegde, thirty-six, lived in a village near Udupi. After her second child's birth she became withdrawn, stopped eating properly, spoke to no one and sometimes muttered to herself. The family believed it was a spi…* Parvathi Hegde, thirty-six, lived in a village near Udupi. After her second child's birth she became withdrawn, stopped eating properly, spoke to no one and sometimes muttered to herself. The family believed it was a spiritual affliction. Her mother-in-law took her to a local healer, and they sang bhakti (devotional) songs, took part in the temple rituals and visited a pilgrimage place. Parvathi enjoyed the music, and the company of the other women gave her comfort. But after two months, she was still sleepless, had said that the children would be better off without her, and appeared frightened of unseen things. Her husband Suresh, afraid, talked to the village health worker. The health worker brought them to the district doctor, who explained that this might be a serious mental health condition after childbirth, and that it was a medical illness that needed treatment, not anyone's fault. The doctor saw no conflict between the prayers and the treatment. In fact, the old Indian medical texts too describe mental illness and recommend tailored care: kind words, regular routines, calm surroundings, appropriate treatment and the support of family. The family agreed to follow the doctor's plan and to continue bhajans and temple visits as comfort. With treatment, rest and family help, Parvathi gradually recovered. The healer agreed to refer others to the doctor as well. 'Our tradition cared for the heart,' Suresh said. 'The doctor cared for the illness. Both mattered.' ### How to recognise it - Withdrawal, poor eating and sleep, and very low mood after childbirth or another big life event. - Muttering, fear of unseen things or unusual beliefs, which are signs of a serious condition needing urgent medical care. - Statements that the family would be better without her, or thoughts of harming herself or her children. - Family explanations of spiritual causes that delay medical help. - Symptoms that persist or worsen despite rituals and comfort. ### What this story explains These stories show how devotional music, rituals and community can help, and how the old medical texts tailored treatment to each person. Such practices work alongside medical care, never instead of it. ### Probable root causes - Hormonal, physical and sleep changes after childbirth, along with stress of new responsibility. - Possible previous or family history of mental illness. - Social pressure, lack of support or belief that illness is a spiritual failing. - Delays in treatment because of stigma or reliance on traditional healers alone. ### What to do 1. Take any severe change after childbirth seriously and seek medical help at once. 2. Keep the mother and baby safe, and never leave her alone if she speaks of harm. 3. Continue comforting practices such as bhajans, prayer and family company alongside treatment. 4. Work with the doctor and follow their plan; involve the village health worker. 5. Support the mother's rest, food and sleep, and share childcare. ### Whom to consult - Doctor or psychiatrist urgently for any severe mental change after childbirth. - Village health worker or primary health centre as the first local contact. - Gynaecologist or family doctor for physical check after childbirth. - Emergency services or nearest hospital at once if she speaks of harming herself or the baby, or seems very confused. ### Do and don’t **Do** | **Don’t** | Do seek medical care early. | Don't treat it as only a spiritual problem. | Do keep the mother company and safe. | Don't blame her or her family. | Do combine devotional comfort with treatment. | Don't leave her alone with the baby if she is unwell. | Do share the childcare and household work. | Don't delay the doctor for rituals. | Do speak kindly and without blame. | Don't stop treatment without the doctor's advice. | ### How to behave and communicate - Speak gently: 'You are not alone, and this is an illness that can be treated.' - Avoid blame: 'This is not your fault.' - Listen to her fears without arguing about unusual beliefs. - Tell her the plan in simple words. - Ask 'What would make you feel safer today?' [All 35 chapters](https://satish.myadvisorfriend.com/chapters/) · [183 stories from real life](https://satish.myadvisorfriend.com/stories/) · [61 Hindu shloks for the mind](https://satish.myadvisorfriend.com/shlokas/) · [Psychology for Everyone – A Mental Well Being Series](https://satish.myadvisorfriend.com/) [myadvisorfriend@gmail.com](mailto:myadvisorfriend@gmail.com) · [Contact](https://satish.myadvisorfriend.com/contact/) · [About](https://satish.myadvisorfriend.com/about/) · [Privacy](https://satish.myadvisorfriend.com/privacy/) · [Disclaimer](https://satish.myadvisorfriend.com/disclaimer/) --- *Psychology for Everyone – A Mental Well Being Series* by Satish Zope · free to read · Contact: [myadvisorfriend@gmail.com](mailto:myadvisorfriend@gmail.com) · [About](https://satish.myadvisorfriend.com/about/) · [Privacy](https://satish.myadvisorfriend.com/privacy/) · [Disclaimer](https://satish.myadvisorfriend.com/disclaimer/)